My life as a bully and a victim

A lot of us have been bullied at one point or another.  Our goal with this website is to help you realize that you are not alone.

I need to tell you all something.

Let me be honest with everyone here. I used to be a bully, it all started when I was a victim of bullying. People started saying that my diagnosis of autism was a bad thing to happen. I needed to get my anger out so I started yelling at other people’s faces, I was never going to stop it was always yelling or hitting. I did hit people. But it was more like in the shoulder or the arm. I never hit people in the face before. A class mate in my school said she hates autism and the trouble it makes. I started shoving people and calling them stupid, not only that but I was becoming more and more short tempered, it got so bad that my mother had to take me out of the JR high I was at. I was moved to a better school and things were getting better. But today I say that the war I faced in school is nothing compared to what I’m facing now. When that school year was over, I started suffering form high stress and dealing with rage problems. If I were to go back and change history for the better I would. It is that feeling that we will all get now and then. When we wish that we could take all the bad stuff we did back and change history. Sadly we can never change the past. In a lot of cases that is getting the better of me.

I have flash backs from what happened when I was bullied. Every time someone mimicks my name or even says I can’t do something, that’s it, it’s a trigger it makes me get trapped into a rage. There have been times when I was pulled out of class rooms and even having a huge talk with teachers in that class. Sadly my friends and my sisters are becoming witnesses to some of my rage attacks. There are times when I wish that I would have died during my times at grade 7 bully.

Grade 7 was when I was 13 years old. Three years later I was in Grade 10 (high school) and was 16 years old, and I still could feel the pain from bullying. I got very dangerous angry moments. When I get angry, I used to yell at the top of my lungs or I feel like I’m ready for a big fight. I want people to know that it’s easy to bully people because you have the power, strength, and the energy to end it. But at the end of the day anger is what they want you to do. If you get mad they might be the winners. Now I am out of high school and moving on with my life. Including all the friends I made. I was making a lot of friends when I changed schools I didn’t have any friends when I was in grade 7. A lot of the friends I made in grade 6 moved on to find other people.

On the hit talk show Dr. Phil he spoke to a woman who is in her mid to late 30’s and she loves being a bully to people. On the interview she bullied actor Max Adler who played the school bully Dave on Glee, she claimed that Adler was trying to promote bullying. In real life Max is a great guy who is against bullying. But that episode revealed that she went through some very scary and traumatic moment in her life. She had some issues

In 2011 a movie called Bully was released in the cinemas. The movie was a documentary about young teens dealing with bullying and how the pain destroyed their lives. Including their families. Some of the people who attended included teen super stars Miranda Cosgrove, Victoria Justice, and (at the time rising star) Ariana Grande. Hard to believe that big time stars are putting up videos about bullying. The school I went to had a counsellor to talk to if you have any feelings. The principal was a great man who is always open to talk to if you are feeling like you are being bullied. The teachers are the best too. My grade 8 social teacher told me that bullies are people too. Now that I am grown up I can see what he meant by that.

Then that all changed forever when the movie A Girl Like Her came out in 2015. A Girl Like Her changed mocumentary films forever. This film made the usual comedy up beat funny mocumentary films into serious tear triggering dramas. Like How To Eat Fried worms this drama showed what the troubles are in the bully’s life. Another difference, the original movie is an elementary school family comedy, this movie is a teen high school drama. Much more sad and darker.

It is true. Plus bullies I feel might have something going on with them with their personal life. It might be becasue they do not have a strong self-esteem. A close friend of mine said that people were picking on her because they wanted to feel good about who they are.

Bullying has reached a milestone the movies. John Bender from the hit 1980’s teen film The Breakfast Club is a troubled young man with abusive parents that burn his arms with cigars and even hit him throughout the film he makes fun of people’s nice clothes, jewellery, he tells stories about how he is “taken care” of at his house hold. Biff Tannen we all know from the Back To The Future film series is a non-stop bullying person from when he was a teenager, all the way until when he was an adult. Until things change from when the main character goes back in time. But of course that is a movie and movies can makes things look real when in real life they are not.

In the movies bullying ends. In real life bullying is very hard to end. In some ways, bullying did end for me, but the memories are remaining. If bullies are being banned from schools, it’s going to be a big day in your school. But some of the people who bullied me ended up being my friends because I found out about their personal troubles at home and they wanted to be mean to someone so that they can feel better about who they are. But after some times they got to know me and we became good friends. I once thought that this was the end of my happiness. But my mother and father said otherwise. This is not the end of your happiness.

When some person is bullying you. It is not the end of the world. Things will get better. It may not be in the same way I went through but I can say they do get better. You will have to tell your parents about what is going on. Don’t wait until they are done work, you call them and tell them what the problems are at school. Call them or talk to them immediately. It is highly vital that parents know about the things people are doing to one another. I didn’t tell my parents until the end of the day and that did not makes things good for my mother or father. So there is the lesson learned right there. Always talk to your parents.

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