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1999-2017

April 20, 1999 the day of the Columbine High School attack. When 2 boys busted into the school armed with 2 shot guns, a rifle and high capacity pistol, and various pipe bombs. They killed 13 people including a teacher. To this day schools and the world shakes with sadness from the attack. The large question everyone asks is why would a person ever do this? Answer is bullying and a lack of authority. If their parents talked to the boys before the attack, the ambush may not have happened.

Now 18 years later the memorial at the school is decorated with flowers and cards every year from family and friends. Not only that but the school building alone scarred with terrifying and frightening memories. Luckily today the school employees are more on top of bullying and weapons in their buildings.

It was the information that I learned from this disaster that gave me the idea to make this video as a shout out and tribute to school shooting victims world wide.

 

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Cyberbullying

Now that is when bullies attack online. Yes I know that some of us have gone through it before. I didn’t have any experience with it until I commented something on YouTube and some guy was just being rude. So what did I do? I just deleted my comment and then the stranger’s comment was erased as well. So I didn’t really have a bad experience with anything like that. However there are some people out there that have had some of the worst experiences ever in the case of cyberbullying.

Honestly speaking I think it is bad because everything that you post online can stay there forever. Sure you can take your own videos off your YouTube page but there are hackers out there that can try to put the tape back online. Plus there is that old saying. Once it is out it is out, you can’t put the toothpaste back into the tube. So be extremely careful and really think about things before you post something. Or just try not to take an embarrassing photo of you on the phone. Again with the hackers. They can do that with phones.

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My personal bullying experiences on video

Lately, for the past six months, I have been posting videos on YouTube about my personal bullying experiences, as well as life experiences.

Some of the videos that I posted are a perfect fit for the website and I hope that it can reach out to various other victims of bullying worldwide.

 

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Pink Shirt Day

Shaw Cable is acting out on the anti-bully pink shirt day on February 22, 2017. Now the reason why the shirts are the colour pink is because there is a bully story behind it. The story is that there was a kid who was getting bullied because he was dressed in pink, but shortly after bullies started to hurt this kid’s feelings someone else showed up in a pink shirt and this kind fellow did that because he or she thought it was a good way to stand up for the kid. From that day on schools and various other companies have been using the colour pink for anti-bully. I think personally this is a good message to show victims of bullying that there are for sure a ton of people out there who care and will stop at nothing to help these people out. I for sure will stop at nothing to make people feel welcomed and not scared to face new things.

My high school does this every year. It was a great time because we all got to share what we went through in our own personal bully experience. There are a lot of teachers out there who would like to hear what you all have had to face. But mainly they would like to learn about what you have went through to use those stories as tips. Tips for other people world wide and have them test them out the next time someone bullies them. Bullying sure is a very tough thing but it does not last forever. These things will change as the years go by. I still have the pink shirt I got when we first started doing the annual pink shirt events. Every time I look at it I think back what  a great thing I did in a way to support these victims. As well as to show them that I am on their side and that they are not alone. No one is alone when it comes to issues such as these.

That is the biggest reason why we do these events. To show kids world wide that they are not alone at all. We as a team of people can provide special companies to help you all. I will be supporting victims every day. Posting tapes on the internet every week on my YouTube channel.

 

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I am Catholic

May 4, 2014. The day I converted to Catholicism. There for I am Catholic. I am against killing. I am peaceful. Just so you all know being peaceful is very hard. People are so used to the violence that happens as a result of bullying but that is not always going to be the case. Wrath is one of the most powerful of the 7 deadly sins. Bullying is a form of wrath. Revenge is also a form. What those men in the April 1999 Columbine Disaster did was revenge and unfortunately they let revenge and the pains of bullying get the better of them and they committed one of the worst attacks in history. Yes they did get the message of pain out and got people talking more about bullying but they also destroyed the lives of their parents as well as those people in that attack. They should have met me to get some help. If only I made this site years before this ambush. For sure I forgive them because of what pain they were in at the time of the attack but I am not happy for the actions they did to try and get their message out. Sure police and school authorities are now more aware on what bullying can lead to but killing someone because of that or to end it is not the best of actions and it is a permanent for such a small problem that people face in life.

At first I thought that Catholicism was all a joke and dumb. I never thought that they would be so peaceful at times. Throughout my time going to school learning about the faith, I was shocked to see them all so loving to each other similar to what my own family did. Despite not being Catholic we were all able to work together as a family and get through things that were hard to get through alone. I was raised in Calgary Alberta Canada. My parents did separate but it was not enough to stop us from being a family. Mom and Dad still stayed in touch and helped me grow up. Family always came first before school work in my house hold growing up. I was raised to care for one and other. Including people that were out side of the family. Some parents don’t do that but mine did. My father always told me that some people do not always understand the truth about caring and that some might mistake some of my caring actions for something bad or something else. Mom and Dad taught me every difference between right and wrong. Where ever I go the feelings of caring hit me. I see a person who needs help I want to help but sometimes they do not always want that help. Some lady mistook me for someone bad. My father told me that I was doing the right thing but some parents just want to be independent. But most of the time when I help people they are very nice to me. I think that was the first time that someone really did not want my help and that kind of shook me up. I was trying to be one of the few good people in the world but this lady was not the best of people.

When I was pulled out of regular school my mother was talking to a friend who knew someone who was going to Catholic school and she recommended it my mother and my father. My parents did not grow up learning about faith or understanding it but they soon saw how safe and better it was for people to learn about. So they talked it over with me. At the time I hated the Catholic faith because of what they did to Canadian First Nations and how they were against the gay community. But as soon as I got in I found out that things were way different. I learned that they do not discriminate gays. Sure I know that it says that the church is against gays but that one lady I met was very shocked and was like “Oh no, we don’t discriminate.” The moment that happened it was then I realized that the church is changing. Over the years as I kept on going to school learning about Catholicism I began to grow interested more and more into the faith, to the point when I all of a sudden thought. “I need to become Catholic.” So I did. I went to school for more courses and then that was the end of everything, All that hatred and anger feelings were gone. But they can at times come back to me and it is then during those times when I go to church on Saturdays or Sundays. Yes I do get thoughts of violence and hate but I know that if I ever do any of those actions I will end up just like the guys who got their revenge on those who wronged them. I still get mad and am still getting help or treatment for my anger but I think the biggest difference is that I am going to Church and letting that pain fly out of my body and moving on with life. Going to church is one of the best thing I like to do. I like to spend time doing Bible studies and saying a few prayers to my family.

Becoming Catholic made me learn that bullies were people that were in trouble and pain. It was then when I learned from that one teacher who used to hate but soon changed. Going to Catholic school changed my life for the better. I was making a tone of friends that I am still in touch with to this day. I always have to keep reminding myself that I cannot hurt anyone. I knew prior to that I was never allowed to hurt any one but now that I am in a religion I have to try and watch what I say or watch what kind of actions I do. Most important think before you take action is what I learned before.

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A Girl And Me

There was a girl who thought I was too weird to be a friend of her’s. She was a very talented girl in art class. I did grow jealous of the talent she had, sure I wished I had the same talent as she had but that was not the case of what happened between me and her. She and I for a few years hated each other. Yes I was a bully towards her and she was a bully towards me. There were some times when I thought he had reconciled and were going to be friends but sadly old habits got the better of me and I continued to annoy her. She and I just did not like each other.

At one point in life she did mimic me when she was hanging out with a friend of her’s who happened to be an ok friend of mine. Oh I remember getting very mad at her for doing that. I wanted to punch her in the face. But of course you know that would have turned me into a monster. So I yelled at her instead. That is what got her and I both to the office, she and I had to talk it over and try and become good classmates. But that did not do anything to change our hate. Just when you would think everything was going to be ok, everything took a turn for the bad again. She and I were still rude to each other. But most of all it was me being rude to her. My aunt thought it was because I thought she was cute or something like that. I did’t think I liked her at first. Well ok I did have a crush on her at the very beginning so I guess you can say my aunt was right about that. I don’t think the girl would have understood. Truthfully I think that she is better off not knowing. She was beautiful but she and I were both at each other’s throats.

Grade 11 was the year that I kept on getting mad. I guess you can say it was because I was expecting too much for myself. She and I were still at each other’s throats. I guess it was all revenge because she didn’t want to be my friend. How bad does that sound? Very childish I would like to say. Our anger towards each other reached a bad climax when she almost blocked me as I left the school parking lot. She, her younger sister and a friend of her’s tried to tease me as they almost blocked me. I felt threatened so I picked up a rock and told them to stay away from me. They accepted that but I needed to get my anger out. So I threw the rock and it hit the roof. It was a small rock just so you all know. That was the worst weekend of my life. I began to wonder whether life was worth it or not. Of course I chose to live and learn form that awful mistake I did. I came home, told my parents everything that happened. But that was not all that I did. One spring morning I was not taking criticism the right way and I was so enraged I ran up to her and kissed her at the back of the head. I know it sounds like I did a nice thing but I didn’t. I did a very bad thing. My mother said in some ways what I did was assault or some kind of assault. Yes I did get into bigger trouble and I regretted all bad things I did from the moment I was called down to the office. I am not a bad man, I was just a young man dealing with personal struggles I just took things the wrong way. Some days I can still take things the wrong way. 

I always think back to what the horrible choices and how I wish I could take it all back. I still get mad at myself for the things I did. Most of all I wish that I could go back in time and make everything better again. If only I had that one wish I would go to the art class where we met and be nice to her. Plus accept that she didn’t want to be a friend. I should have been nice to her from the very beginning

It was not until grade 12 when she and I started to talk to each other. All of a sudden we became good class mates. She even started to in some ways worry about me. She thought I was in trouble after all. She did kind of worry about a chip on my tooth. She thought that It was done by me on intentionally. Well that is not the case I told her. I told her that when I was young kid I used to grind my teeth when I slept. One morning I woke up with a chip in my tooth. She told me that I need to be good to myself. I think she and I got along at the end because she saw me hanging out with her younger sister. Probably it was there how she got to see what an entertaining guy I was or still am. Now that we have both graduated we are moving on with our lives.  At our graduation party I walked up to her and asked her “What was it that made us talk to each other?” She said “I don’t know.” I personally think it was because we both grew up and learned that we are going to be who we are going to be. It has now been 2 years and we have not seen each other since. I did know that she worked at a restaurant but she left to go to school. For the last year I hung out with her sister now and then even gave her a graduation card to her and a friend. We had great times hanging out with each other. Now I have not seen both her and sister since. So I moved on with my life. Just like they did. I do miss her at times.

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Be Yourself

No matter what bullies tell you, always be yourself. I know you might feel ashamed that you are who you are but the good part is, being yourself gets you through multiple different obstacles through out your life. I know things might seem too long but trust me it does not last as long as you might believe it.

Yes a lot of guys made fun of me for being who I was. But I didn’t know the right way to cope with it. Or how to cope. I chose the wrong way to cope. I made up a story of my life to try and escape what these awful bullies did to me. I didn’t like who I was so I pretended to be someone who I was completely not.

At school I acted like some hard as nails guy. Honestly I regret that because that is not me at all. I am a nice man with a large heart of gold. There is not a person on this planet who hasn’t lied about their life to cope with the pain and suffering from the bullies they faced.

There was a lady on Dr. Phil and she was a compulsive liar because of a traumatic disaster that she had faced. Now that I can relate to. Why? I did the same thing. I tried to live a story I was playing in my head over and over, and frankly it drove my mother and 2 sisters crazy because they tried to help and I refused to know or hear what they had to offer. I still feel bad that I didn’t listen to what they had to say. I even tear up just thinking about it.

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Improve your attitude

People will change. That is the truth. Improving your attitude is a part of changing your life for the better. It does sound hard. When recovering from bullying some feel very angry and that is a part of putting it all behind you. Some people I met don’t even remember the bullies that hurt them. I do think it is a good thing because people do need to move on. However there are some people that like to hear your experience from what bullies did to you, some people do try to remember what happened so that they can teach others what to do and what not to do when it comes to these catastrophes.

But if you spend too much time thinking about what happened in the past you will miss out on current events, on living your life. What if you people have families and children. Moving on is way better than dwelling on the painful past. You should take the lessons the bullies taught you and use that for great use in life, and be happier in life. In some ways I am glad that I was bullied because I am now fully aware of the pain that follows, and I used that lesson to warn other kids about the dangers of what they might face in high school. I have dedicated my life to do this website to reach out to other people who have dealt with issues like this. There is a quote that I found when I was in high school. It was from a book that I had to read for the English courses there. The book was called Tuesdays with Morrie, written by Mitch Albom. The book featured a quote I never forgot. “Dying is just one thing to be sad about. Living unhappily is another thing.” It was said by the man who once taught Albom in collage. That man happened to be his teacher Morrie Schwartz. Who died in 1995 from complications with ALS. Despite the fight with this fatal illness Mr. Schwartz taught us the meaning of life and how we should enjoy it while we can. Mostly to enjoy it while you are in a happy mood.

You should all know that I am autistic, now with that said when I got bullied it was much more harder than what some might have gone through. Bullies and Autism are not the best of combinations. In my personal experience it damaged my self-esteem as well as understandings on certain types of jokes. One day at work there were some guys that said a joke, now I was not aware that they were joking so I got a bit defensive. Just then they told me it was all a joke so I told them I was autistic and they apologized. Again I learned something new that day. That new thing I learned was that some of those jokes in that kind of work environment workers will say some stuff that might seem hurtful and I just had to in some ways pay attention to what they are talking about before I jump to any conclusions.

 

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Recommended links

I was surprised and happy to hear that other people in North America have found out about my website. I never thought that I would get so much good feedback. Some kids from The Brenham Community Center in Texas contacted me to suggest a site they really like.

The link is here.

I like this site because in some ways they are helping towards raising awareness to the terrible ways bullying can shape people’s lives in contemporary North America. They are right about bullying today. Bullying has grown from beyond the school campus to our living room house hold computers. They talked about how millions of lives can be saved through the anti-bullying programs. To me that is an absolute necessity to get a message like that out there to people who have been bullied around the world.

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Tips To Stop Bullying

Bullying is a huge problem for millions kids world wide. Experts say at least 25% of kids have been bullied at some point in their lives, and we think the real numbers are much higher as the years go by.

Here’s our advice for stopping the bullying:

  • If you can, ignore the bully. The bully wants to get a reaction from you. In lots cases, if you ignore them, they might go away.
  • Tell the bully you feel threatened by them.  They may not even realize they are scaring you.
  • If the bully doesn’t stop when you ask them to, tell a teacher or counselor. They can help you put a stop to bullying.
  • Try to avoid being around the bully if at all possible.  By going places with your friends, instead of being alone, the bully might avoid you.  Remember, bullies are suffering from their own troubles, and they are more likely to approach you if you are alone.

Almost everyone has been bullied. If we are honest, most of us realize that at some point, we’ve been bullies, too. The challenge is to think about your actions and how they affect others. It may seem like an innocent joke or friendly teasing to you, but someone else could be hurt inside, threatened or scared by your actions. You can’t take things back what ever you say and what ever action you do, it is done. You cannot take that back at all. The truth is you can’t really stop the bullying because it is up to the bully alone to stop doing what he or she is doing. I know it can take a long time but it is worth to wait. You might have better times to do while you wait. Do not be a bully yourself. Things will get better. The biggest place for help most of all are your parents. Stop holding in all that pain and start talking to your parents. They can help you any time for you. Do not ignore them when they ask you if something is wrong. Because that is the last think you would ever want to do in the cases of bullying. I did that once and let me tell and promise you this. It did not end that well at all.

Sadly some people take all of that anger out by hurting others. Yes it is a very easy thing or way to get rid of that anger but it also hurts other people around you. Pain leads to attacks. Attacks are permanent damages that can’t take back and they can stay in your memories for the rest of your life and truly hurt your inner feelings later on as you continue to live life. Attacking people is not the best. There is a reason why schools have better systems in this day in age. The school I went to had some of the best staff you can think of. They were all very supportive and treated you like you mattered. I was also raised to care for one and other. My parents may have been separated all through out my life but they still stuck together and taught me the truth about life and all the good side of living.